Can only take certain roads can't take Kweer Road

Automatic or Emmannuel?

- Listening to the ABC radio I heard at a  science conference in America  one scientists spoke of the battle between logical scientific thought and religion she said the problem is that  "Religions have a winning sales pitch"

I tried to imagine 2 car salesman one selling the Religious Rover one selling the Scientific Chabang.
B - buyer, SS  - Scientific Salesman RS- Religious Salesman 

SS - Well sir, this is the Scientific Chabang the best car we have come up with so far 
RS - Well this sir, here is the Religious Rover the most perfect car there will ever has been. Been in production for 2000 years. No better car can be designed it's pefect in every way.

B - What's the life of your car ?
SS -  well it depends on how you drive, how far, the weather etc, but it should keep you going for 20 years.
RS - what do you mean life ?
B - when will it die ?
RS - No, it never dies.
B - What it never dies ! You can keep driving it to work for ever ?
RS - Well after 20 years it doesn't work on normal road. It goes to a special special heaven highways   where the petrol is free, there are no speed limits nor traffic lights.
B - Where is this special highway system ? Have you been there ?
RS - Well they are right around us but invisible. There is  no interchange between heaven highways and normal roads; so once no one who has driven on then comes back to normal roads, but believe me it exists.
B - What if I damage it ?
SS - Well you could take it to our service centre and you will have to pay for us to fix it.
RS - Well this model is autoforgiving. Whatever dent or scratch you get is of no consequence. You just have to ask for forgiveness  then it will be automatically be restored to the previous state as if no damage has ever happened.
B - wow !

B- What if I really crash it. Won't I have to have to pay for it ?
SS- well I guess so.
RS - No, these type of accidents are not your fault. Since in the big road atlas of life the Chief Car Designer 
has planned everything. So if you get drunk or speed outrageously and hit another car it was meant to be.
B- I see, Does this apply to people who buy other brands ? 

RS - No if your neighbour crashes the car, it's probably because he didn't buy one of our cars and the great car designer has arranged for him to be punished.
B- what if I crash ?
RS- Occasionally the Chief Car Designer wants to test if you believe that our cars are the best so he will organise a crash to test you.

B- What about running costs ?
SS - You  will have to work to buy petrol to keep it going.
RS -  No you don't have to work to buy petrol. If you pray hard enough the petrol appears in the tank.

RS - You know the whole idea of the Religious Rover is so American, most Americans drive one; if you don't then you're not normal. Hell it's so American we can't resist driving them into our schoolrooms and courthouses even though the constitution specifically prohibits this. 

B - What about future better models ?
SS - Yes we are continually working to make better models. Also we are adding new roads to our road atlas.
RS - This is the one true car it can never be improved. Our road atlas already has every route in you will ever take. 

SS - We are quite happy with our designs, but not smug in fact we are always looking for faults as we believe we can improve on design.

RS - Since we already know we have the perfect design we can be positive all the time .. We never need to look for faults in our own design. In fact we have our Happy Owners Club meetings once a week, where we all meet up and sing for joy that we made the best choice. Coincidentally we have the best looking women coming along in their best clothes, those science guys don't look do cute in their labcoats and overalls.

B- do you have requirement weekly payments for this club  ? 

RS- Yes if you pay you will drive even faster on the heaven highway and we provide services for the poor.
SS- Doesn't more than 80% of that money go to pay for "sunday service", and buildings.  Aren't they already the biggest landowners already ?
RS - Listen you don't you know we are always helping the poor; especially in far off lands. We take their existing vehicles and break them down and re-assemble them as our own vehicle. Just as we did with all the traditional designs over Latin America and Africa over the last 500 years. 

SS - Isn't it true that that more Religious Rovers are rusty that other cars ?
RS - Yes of course that's true ! Doesn't it say in our great manual that the rusty shall inherit the highway .. It's a great thing to be rusty now for you will command the eternal road.
SS - Funny that the cars  your senior salesmen get driven around in never seem to be rusty they don't come in black, but in fetching purple or red with a pointy roof ! They don't even drive themselves do they  ?

RS - Of course not they must remain uncontaminated by driving. Just because they don't drive themselves that doesn't mean they aren't the best people to teach us mere mortals how to drive. 

B- So you car was designed by The Great Designer. What about you Science guys who designed your car ?
SS - Well it was a kind of collabrative effort in the early days there were a few Greek guys, then some Italians, Chinese, Arabs, Germans and other Europeans, 200 hundred  years ago most designers were in  Great Britain , but by the last century most were in the US and now they are in every corner of the globe. We even had a few women work on the design. 
RS- See always chopping and changing. We have always had the one designer though he does 3 jobs, his son helped him a bit, but he's not really a son more like part of The Great Designer himself.
B - What he's still alive after 2000 years ?
RS - Always been alive and always will be. 
B - Where is he ?
RS - Well he's everywhere at the same time in fact he's here right now.
B- I don't see him.
RS - People don't see him they feel him. Yes sir the truly special can always feel his presence ... You can feel him right now can't you boy ?
B - Erm, Yes, erm, I think so

SS - No you can't there's no one else here.
RS - Oh, How sad .. See how stupid he is ? He cannot feel the presence. Some of those scientists say they can. Still they can never agree.
RS- Rubbish us scientists stick to the same principles all over the world, which is more than I can say for your sales teams. Didn't they start off in the Middle East, move to Rome then Contantinople then split in 2 then 2 again. They've been splitting apart ever since. Then there were the teams who said they revamped the model 1300 years ago.  Some have women some don't.  How can you be selling the same product. Recently we have seen particularly zealous sales teams come out of Korea and Brazil. Look how calm we scientists are.

B - I'm looking at the manual here and it says here that if the Religious Rover overheats I should hit the sparkplugs very hard with a big hammer. 
RS - Yes that's right.
B - but it says here 4 pages later you should take the out to cool. And here it says inflate the tyres to 20lb, yet on page 44 it says 35 lb !
RS - Well, you're not qualified to read that book , are you boy ?

B- What safety tests do you do ?
SS- Yes of course we have a rigorous testing program.
RS - You heretic ! our cars never need testing. How dare you suggest they ever need testing !

B - What do you think of your competitors product ?
SS- I think the most worrying thing is their car is not tested and they cannot prove any of their claims about heaven highways or that prayer puts petrol in the tax.
RS- Listen to that rat, that dirtbag, that infidel...  you know who the real owner of that company is ? He is the Evil Carman. He wants to make this a planet of road charges, traffic lights, high petrol prices, speed limits and jams.   Proof ! statistics ! What use are those ? don't listen to him . Of course ours is the one true car, all the others are fake copies He's evil, He's evil. If you buy the Religion Roller you'll be on the Heaven Highway, if you don't then you'll be stuck with Hell

Besides the Great Designer died making this car for you ! Yes he died for you, if you ignore him, you will be racked with guilt 
RS - SS - ugh !

B - Hi, honey we'll have to get one of those Religion cars they are so much better that those Science Cars. He has all the clear simple answers, the Science guy he's so confusing and he even admits they don't have the perfect design yet.. How lame.

We'll drive it to mothers on Sunday.
RS- what do you mean ?
It can't be driven on Sundays ! It says in the manual here I have a duty to kill you if you drive on Sunday.

1- already  perfect
2- lasts forever - after death get heaven
3- forgiveness 
4- punishment/ testing
5- pray 
6- already  perfect
7- manual contradictions
8- faith not proof
9- competitors are evil
10- already so many users, are you suggesting they are wrong 
11- It's American
12- The owners club meets every week you are welcome to our happy band
13- money
14 - factionalism 
15 People who drive the Religious Rover have love  nice dresses, nice choirs
17 all answers in book
18 guilt he died for you 
19 loves the poor more , rusty get heaven 

Drive as fast as like, drunk, OK but drive another car eternal damnation 

- fat fashion man - not anoerexic model

New character - saw fat girl wearing  too tight shorts and the number of girls walking around Adelaide with their tits hanging out prompted me to think of a new character : the Fashion Police - inspecting public for fashion crimes. Maybe undercover dressed in a sharp suit. They could stage a raid on the venue inspecting the audience. 

The bouncer character - no drinking outside and no buying drugs ourside either you have to buy your drugs inside (from our dealers)
The "Fuck Off" Guy - I have come across a couple of East European immigrants here who despite being here 30 years have never come to grips with English so especially in stressful situations. They resort to conversation made up entirley of "fuck off" with other words thrown in e.g. "ju fuck off" also accompanied by a lot of finger pointing. Though I don't know where the comedy value is.

1. Australia's water problems are all over, now the England cricket team are here they'll Piss all over Australia 
2. National sport of England - losing 
3. Even 2nd best at Whinging
4.  but Australian's are worse
Listen to the whinging women accent
5. Don't whinge, let's have positive actions
5 Ozzies so like america 
Like Howard cos afraid of mortgage. 

signs around the city tell us to respect Adelaides new religion. Hail the bus !